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I... I feel good right about now. I'm really glad that I'm using my journal again. Just so that I'll be able to say this. I feel good. My transcript so that I can send in my application for NAIT can be received on Friday. Even if I don't get accepted (I think I will, and if I don't? I won't stop until I get in) for the upcoming semester in January? ... I might still go to Hawaii anyway. Just for a few days. Just so that I can look at the sky that's so crystal blue, reflected by the water and tides crashing onto the shore. I won't do a damn thing. I'll think, and be by myself, and eat good food, and just... I'll do everything in what little time I can there. Then I'll come back home. Because it's time I started chasing my dream. Watch for me guys. I'm going to become a great Voice Actor. Tags: college, dream, feeling good, hawaii, travelling, voice acting
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I was being ridiculous. What's done is done. - Final Fantasy V - Final Fantasy VI - Tales of-- ...oh hell. Forget it. I have too many games to play. Let's say that. I'm excited that I may be able to take on my dream though. Voice Acting, here I come. I have to start somewhere. Working through Radio & Television Broadcasting is a good beginning. I'll make it through. Watch for the credits of a video game or anime in the next few years. You'll see, Brandon Olson. ...unless I come up with some strange alias like some of them do. Maybe I'll think of something cool. ... ... When I have more sleep in me, I'll think about it. [EDIT]... I miss Sam. Guess this is a good reason to start using my journal again and paying attention. When I was in Hawaii I intended on visiting her for a while, but I couldn't keep in touch. Nothing happened... Oh well! Stuff happens. I'll just have to PM her journal, cross my fingers for a new entry outta her, or cross those said fingers again for her coming onto AIM sometime. Seriously sleeping now though. XP Tags: clandon needs to use tags more, lazy ass, will learn to use tags more often later
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I dropped ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) amatomnes today. For those that aren't aware of just what it is, it's an 18+ RPG. To put it lightly, it's a place to give your romance-writing skills a shot with fictional characters. I've been there for a very long time, and after enough of a push, I finally decided to give myself the ol' heave-ho and say goodbye to it. I had enough, and being away from there should make me feel better knowing I have one less huge thing to worry about. Especially with College coming up this new year in January if I get enrolled at NAIT. I should feel glad, reieved, happy even. I even gave a friend of mine whom I don't speak to anymore a shoutout because I could. Felt it was right at the time to at least give her thanks. I should feel better. So... Why am I so wracked by guilt instead? I don't regret leaving, I don't. And I know that I'm not going back. So...why do I feel this way? Is it disappointment that I've let people down? It's all just a game, but people had fun with me as I had fun with them. I...hate letting go. I told them all that this isn't goodbye if they wanted to message me anytime, or maybe see me somewhere down the line to RP. Sometimes I don't keep up too well with others. To me, time doesn't sever a friendship no matter how long it's been since I've talked with others. A good friend of mine reminded me of that recently (lookit me rambling and getting all angsty on you guys. WTF?! LOLZ). But I worry that if I don't talk to someone for so long, that maybe they'll think I've forgotten them. Or that I just don't care enough... I'm a lazy guy, it's something I wanna try to change in myself. And I'm even selfish at times. We all are. Maybe I need to sleep on this. It's kept me up all night when I should be back on a normal sleeping habit. -- ...in other light news, speaking of NAIT, I might be able to chase my dream from there? That's something. ♥ /inb4omgclandonuseshisjournalonceagain Sorry for everyone who read through all of that. Current Mood:  guilty
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Am I self absorbed and self-centered? If someone tries to talk to me, do I tune them out if I'm not the center of attention anymore? I never thought I was until someone broke off their friendship with me for it...and I thought I had passed this bridge with them a while ago. I really did...
I don't want supportive friends to come in and tell me, "Awwww, really, Clandon, you're not self absorbed or self-centered!" unless you truly, deep down, believe so. Because this is the first time that I've lost someone like this because of those reasons...and either something is wrong and they're more hurt then they should be, or...everyone doesn't have the heart to just tell me the truth.
A part of me wants it to be the second option here, because I'd much rather carry the burden rather then everyone else hold it deep inside, I really would. I don't care if it wrecks me as a person, I don't give a damn anymore if I really am just some asshole hiding behind a smile who says he's interested. I like to believe I'm interested in what others have to say, I like to believe that I listen. I like to believe that I like bettering myself...but do I?
I just don't know anymore... It twists me up inside, you know? Possibly being the one kind of person that I can't stand, the one thing I never thought of becoming. Someone who honestly doesn't care.
Just tell me straight-out, please. If you know me well enough. Am I self absorbed, self-centered, selfish, call it what you will?
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As you can tell from my icon, we are going back to Johto, mutha fuggas! So here, have some Pokémon music that some of us may remember and love dearly. And you will listen to it. Catchy and nostalgic. ♥ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prXS1cSuIgsRemake of Gold & Silver Version. I know I'm late to the party, but screw it. I'm gettin' my say in. Now if you'll excuse me. ( GEEK-OUT MODE )I apologize for that outburst. Now that we have that out of the way? I wanna try using my personal journal more. That being said? I know how to. I'll be cleaning my computer soon and buying my sister's. And her's? Kicks ass. And she's gone in Australia for, frankly, the rest of her life maybe. She's living there, and that computer's MINE when I buy it off of her. When things are fresh and clean, I'll be more on the ball with things. ... YES, I'll get Skype. Sheesh. Stop asking. You know who you are. ♥ Wrapping this up now, Get Pokémon Heart Gold & Soul Silver Version. We will all play, and I'll whip y'all. ... I hope. :P And with that? I'm tired. Bed time for me.
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I have way too many games that I keep buying, but need to play. - Metal Gear Solid 2 - Metal Gear Solid 3 - Tales of the Abyss (friend is borrowing it) - Tales of Symphonia - Tales of Vesperia - Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories - Final Fantasy V - Final Fantasy VI (I NEED TO FINISH THAT S.O.B.) I buy/get all of these. ... And then I get Pokémon Platinum Version, and now I'm playing that over the others. When I've had THESE ones on the shelves for quite some time collecting dust. ... Hah. It's a sin that I haven't gotten far into Abyss, and yet Tear Grants is one of my favorite VG characters. Not biased. Mnope. She's hawt. ... What?Oh well, at least I've played/beaten Sonic and the Black Knight and Sonic Unleashed. And got back into playing Brawl, even though it's from home and online for now. Until my Mom's ankle gets better (tl;dr version, she broke her ankle and she's recovering just fine. so don't worry), I'll sit things out before competing again. Gotta keep up my reputation as the top Sonic user of the province, after all! I think I'm doin' alright. Planning to hiatus in amatomnes and paradisa for a short while so that I can play better when I get back. ... ... ... If there's one thing that will ALWAYS stay consistent with SEGA and it's games, particularily Sonic games. The music is ALWAYS good. ♥ Current Music: Sonic and the Black Knight - Knight of the Wind -Acoustic Version-
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Ever regret deleting some of your old material from your past journals? Simply for the sake of there being so many good memories and conversations? I'm remembering Sonic the Hedgehog when I played him in Template. And Cloud. And so many others before I cleaned it all out. ... I miss Sonic hanging out with Hanon. I really, really do. the Super Sonic & Hanon scene and finding the cave and all that epicness was just too great. I need to stop reusing old ones so that I can keep the good memories. I think I need a multifandom RPG with freedom. Like Template was. Or something. :X I miss Sonic making friends with many different kinds of people from different worlds. Hanon especially, that was just plain awesome. I remember him running across the river for the hell of it and nearly biting the big one thanks to nearly running her over in the water. XDD!! Too many good times... Ever had to let them go? ^^ RP's ftfw I say. And yes. I'm going to try to use this journal a lot more now. It makes me feel good. Current Mood:  stupid
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Do you ever get the feeling that you're being ignored...? But it's probably not even that? I know that Julie's okay, but I haven't gotten to speak to her (even over MSN) in almost a week. And it took today for me to realize how long it's been. I've tried to call her before, but she wouldn't pick up. Her phone is on, she's on AIM with her phone, and yet anytime I message her, begging for her to at least say hi to me, she doesn't... I'm worried. I love her, I always will. And she will always love me, I know that... But I'm just scared. I'm afraid that something bad might have happened. I can't even think as well as I should right now. And it's pissing me off. I miss her, I miss talking to her; hell, even MSN or AIM would be fine, just SOMETHING to know that she's still there... School might be hitting her hard, or something else might have come up. But I know that she can use her phone, I know she can, she has a new month for being able to talk to people. But why won't she talk to me? I tried calling her earlier, not even ten minutes ago, and I left her a message. I think back to how I talked and I don't want her to think that I've been sad, but I was. I felt horrible, and I still do. I just want to talk to her. Give me ONE second to tell her that I love her again. I knew that long-distance relationships would be hard... But this fucking hard? I shouldn't be worrying though... She's fine. I know she is. In other news, I did the most kick-ass fighting scene ever in my RP life. Xemnas pwned Sora though, which kind of scared the crap out of Kairi afterwards...ehehe. ^^; Current Mood: lonely
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You have no idea how stressed I feel right now. =_=+ So, I'm just going to enlighten you all with what my beef is right now. I'm not usually angry... So sorry in advance. I've always loved cosplaying, my dream one is to do Cloud, but I'm going to settle for Roxas and Sora. I've already done Luigi and Black Mage in the past, and both were very successful. And I think I know why too. When it came to try and pulling off the character, that is. When it comes to my convention, Animethon... They are very anal about what material your props are made of. And wouldn't you know it? The Oathkeeper and Oblivion that I need for Roxas is, DING DING DING, fucking wood. And Animethon doesn't let you carry around wood. FREAKING wood. Their excuse? We could use them as a weapon; as true as that may be, come on, you'd have to be a freaking idiot to literally want to wreck your weapon that badly. I personally wouldn't want to waste a good $200+ on my Keyblades if all that's going to happen is that they get wrecked. It has to either be attached to you or not be wood or metal. That's plain and simple. Other things are allowed, like, styrofoam; and to be honest, I've seen it done before for fancy props like Keyblades, which is cool for me. The only problem now, the only one who can be able to do such a fine job is a professional that makes props every day, but you have to pay a lot. And I'm talking about quality-work here, and taking care of the props and doing everything to make them look so life-like. www.fantasyprops.com; you should check it out sometime. It's really great work, I swear. And it may cost more, but I could be able to afford the Keyblades; but I need to wait for him to e-mail me back and tell me when he can make them and for how much and for how long it will take. The thing is, I don't want to wait until a convention is OVER to get props that I have no use for except for hanging on my wall. I could go without them, but really, what's the point? Sora and Roxas; the Keyblade is what adds to their character. Freaking chosen for them, and to not be with them at a convention because people think you're going to go balistic and try to commit mass murder with some hunk of wood? I could be blowing it out of proportion, but I have seen all of the other conventions be able to have weapons, some wood, some styrofoam, some plastic. And yet WHY is Animethon the only one to suffer. It just downright pisses me off to no end. =-=; Ugh... Other than that, I'm confident that the other parts of my costume can easily be finished. The Organization XIII coat is on it's way, so are Sora's gloves. And I plan on getting some shoes and boots to tamper with to create their shoes. Wigs, don't even get me started on them... I'm buying those, thank you very much. Don't even ask anyone in my family. x-x;; We have no experience with wigs AT ALL. Me and Amanda are going to attempt to create the Kingdom Key though; Sora's original...it's an easy design, and I could possibly get my uncle in on it too and he can help. I'm going to love it still... But if I don't have my Keyblades, it just won't feel the same. That's why I'm kind of blah and pissy right now about my cosplay. Fucking Animethon... =-=+ How I love yet loathe thee... I still need to try and figure out if I can make it to the Anime Expo as well... At least there it seems like they're more tolerated; that or there's more room to go about without being noticed... Sigh... I guess I'm just going to go back to RPing, maybe shower. Sorry for the little spill there. ♥♥♥ ( [EDIT; Major Swearing] )[END RANT] I'm sorry for those that actually read what was behind the cut... ._. I do feel a lot better though. Current Mood:  pissed off
Current Music: Kingdom Hearts II - Lazy Afternoons
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I swear, my best friend is a complete and total idiot sometimes. -_-; I was talking to him about games earlier and such... I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: im kinda meh on FF now I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: its startin to lack in the whole action department sora says: Action? I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: i think that FF forgot to eat its spinnich after about FF8 sora says: ... sora says: Denver? After FFVIII? sora says: What the hell, man. sora says: You of all people. I never thought you'd say that. FFIX I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: what? sora says: INCREDIBLE game. I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: IX is amazing in a different way I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: im not dissing it sora says: I know you aren't. But you're saying that Final Fantasy is losing their touch? I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: it wasnt supposed to be all time amazing action anyway (which it had anyway) I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: kinda I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: the characters are starting to become all look and no substance sora says: Sure, you can't beat classics like VI, VII and VIII, but the series still runs strong. I'm only going to continue to enjoy it. And from what I've heard, in Final Fantasy Versus XIII the battle system is going to be a lot more intuitive that it works kind of like Kingdom Hearts. Honestly, the whole all look and no substance thing is pretty much just an opinion. Every character has a unique-ness in their own way. I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: im just sayin that van was basically theif version of tidus sora says: We don't know that, do we? How far have you played into the game? I haven't gotten much farther than the beginning, if not farther than you, and there's a bit more to Vann than you think. And besides, from what I DO know, it's probably not even CLOSE to his full hting. sora says: You're just basing that on his appearance. sora says: Which I will admit, he looks Tidus who got his nose punched in... sora says: XD sora says: he looks like Tidus( sora says: ** I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: ha I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: well hes kinda whiney too I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: and that pennello is really annoying I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: and pretty useless sora says: . . . Denver, if you're going to let ONE character ruin your gaming experience, than by all means. :P sora says: Define useless. I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: also i think someones tryin to call so i better get off da comp sora says: Okay. sora says: Take care, Denver. I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: shes weak and really really annoying I'd give my life. Not for honour, but for you. says: see ya ...she's weak and really annoying. That's his reasoning? Give. Me. A. Fucking. Break. :P Silly boy. See, the thing with my friend is that he can be very opinionated on something or will easily let one small thing influence him to do something else. Or if others are around, he'll do something to try and impress. Sure, don't we all? XD Buut I've found that sometimes we can be total pricks to each other. But anywho, back the topic at hand. He LOVED Final Fantasy IX. I was actually pretty much just shocked that he said the whole after VIII thing. To count out IX is just unlike him. To be honest, sure, people can change and stuff, but he's loved IX since the beginning of time and it was his favorite game of all time. I don't know if I'm just blowing things out of proportion or just...iono. :P I just needed to rant. I'm getting annoyed by his constant reasons of, "Weak" or "Annoying". He needs something more valid. :P Other than that, he's a good guy still. Done that rant! In other news! I'm cosplaying Sora and Roxas this upcoming convention! I'm so pumped for it! I got one part of the costume already... http://cgi.ebay.com/Organization-XIII-Kingdom-Hearts-2-cosplay-costume_W0QQitemZ120080464527QQihZ002QQcategoryZ13667QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItemI'll be getting Oathkeeper and Oblivion soon as well! Me and my sister are going to buy the Twilight!Roxas outfit as well, and also Sora's Kingdom Hearts II design. We'll be making the Kingdom Key; oodles of fun! :D The one thing I'm going to have a really hard time trying to do is find and make the shoes to them... Organization Roxas is going to be SO easy. Anywho! Going to wait for my sister to wake up so we can check out those Keyblades and such. :D Current Mood: annoyed
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Wow! I haven't updated this in a REALLY long time. >_o; So, I'm only going to slightly skim over some of the things that happened to me in the recent days and the ending days of last year! Okay! Moving on! Topic One; Happy New Year! I understand that this is late. ... REALLY late. Okay...extremely late. Too late. But I never posted when the time came before! I hope that everyone has a wonderful new year! What are you resolutions? My main resolutions are to spend more time training, become the best at Super Smash Bros. (I'm a loser, I know XD), continue to love and protect my family as I always have been if not more, and to let the girl that I love know that I will always love her. No matter what the time, whatever I'm doing, you're always there with me honey. :) I love you so much. Topic Two; Well, I'm becoming a regular at NSider, the Nintendo forums, that is. But there's this one guy on there, he's really smart...but he has the shortest fuse at it is. Those kind of people don't sit too well with me. He always seems like he's really cranked about something, or someone, or anything of the matter. In his sig, he even has a rage-o-meter that he sets to whatever mood he's in. Kind of isn't necessary, to be honest. And some people can be scared of him, I think. Because he isn't afraid to blow his top off at you. I understand that the Super Smash Bros. forum is really loaded with spam and is off the hook with unwanted topics... And sure, he made a good rant about it. But it was harsh, and apparently he had a different version that was more "colorful" in language. Quite frankly, do you actually NEED vulgar language to illustrate a point? All it illustrates to me is that someone has an anger problem, which he seriously does, and that someone needs to take a serious chill pill. He impresses me with his smarts, but to be honest... I'm not all too welcoming about his rage. Apparently someone made a joke thread one time, and he ended up making a couple of rather witty (in the negative way) remarks. And before he posted anything that would have gotten him banned, he had to get away from the computer and punch the wall. That's not cool man. Okay, moving on! That was my mini-rant about a topic that does NOT even matter. :P Topic Three; Sonic the Hedgehog for Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Woooo, betcha never saw THIS one coming. XDDD Topic Four; I've been slowly getting into the swing of making icons again...and school sucks. As per usual, but I have to get through this semester before I have to tackle the next one. So wish me luck fellas! ^^ Topic Five; I've slowly gotten back into Megaman again. Who here's familiar with that? Look him up on Wikipedia. My favorite though is either the Megaman X or the Megaman Legends series. And MegamanxRoll = OTP...but ONLY in Megaman Legends. That's the only one that counts. They're adorable. X3 Topic Six; Chris ships QuinaxBarret. *nods sagely* ... *waits for him to come and kill me* XDD Alright! That about wraps this up! Take care and good night! Current Mood:  happy
Current Music: Stephen Lynch - Superhero
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ACCOMPLISHED UP THE WAZOO! XD Another short little blurt of a post. Feel free to skip my happiness over the smallest things. Anyways! I finished with a two-set thing of icons. Sonic and Mario for the win. 8D I plan on posting them up in sonicteam_icons sometime in the nearby future. Hey, I can get away with it. It has Sonic in it. And again, if you all didn't know this, I am getting more anxious as time passes for when Brawl comes out. Sonic is most definitely going to be in it. :D And I've decided to do a tiny little poll thingermabob regarding Smash. I don't have, like, ANY friends except for Chris, Jenny, Natalie, and such. And you all probably don't care about Smash Bros. and such, but help a bored guy out here. I plan on getting better at the game again, but I need to decide which character I should begin to focus on. I've got six choices. 1.) Luigi 2.) Yoshi 3.) Fox 4.) Marth 5.) Mewtwo 6.) Ganondorf 7.) Mario Okay, so that's seven. :P But whatever, huh? ^^ So, if you feel like passing time, place them in the order that which you think I should practice the characters. [EDIT] Just for Jenny... >_> 8.) Link HAPPY? XD Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Yoshi's Story - Main Theme
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Awwww man. I'm kind of disappointed in myself... Yes, again, my nerdish Super Smash Bros. talks. I was playing it earlier and such, and I have seriously lost ANY skill that I may have had before. Guess playing with the Wii controller gets you into a different swing of gameplay. But I did absolutely horrible against the computers. The freaking computers! They're supposed to be too easy for me, even on level nine! I usually four-stock them; what that means is that I'll beat them easily without losing a single life in the process. But now I'm either on one stock life in the end or I lose! I seriously need to start playing Smash Bros. more again if I want to get better with Yoshi and Luigi and Marth and Mewtwo again. Although Kirby is not too bad for me, I did alright fighting Fox. I'm going to eventually make some combo videos of these characters to show people that I am actually pretty close to being pro. That said, it will also get me warmed up for Super Smash Bros. Brawl when it comes out; I am so pumped for that! Especially when one of my favorite game characters of all time is probably going to be in it. You get a cookie if you can guess who. *cough* >.> I'll show combo videos of my characters when I can get the right technology up and running and when my characters are back up to speed as pros again. *grins* Okay, moving on from the Smash Bros. topic! XD I went to a really fancy restaurant tonight! It was my sister's birthday, and she wanted to get drunk. Sadly, she didn't; the food already did her in. They have really good Italian food! I ate mine and everyone else couldn't finish; guess who became the vacuum. Yo. :P I'm so full...we all kind of had a bad case of gas on the drive home. It was funny. XD A whole half-hour of, Mom: ...alright, who the hell was that this time? Me: ...ehehehehe...it was Amanda. Amanda: OH YEAH RIGHT! EWWW! ...it was me. XDDD I have a project that's due tomorrow that I keep on procrastinating when I seriously shouldn't be. I need to have my mark above 80%; that's easy and all, but I might as well do more than that if I can. So yeah, I'm done here for now. ^^ I need to think up more ideas for Sonic icons. Current Music: Nightwish - Phantom Of The Opera
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This post is gonna be short and sweet, considering that I have Social class in the next two minutes or so. XD School is fun and all, Drama is still good, I love Airielle, yadda yadda yadda. :P Also, I want to get better as Yoshi in Smash Bros. Melee as well...I know, I keep on switching with who I want to be. XD But Yoshi has always been my favorite Nintendo character of all time. I want to play Yoshi's Story again, that one that was on the N64. I know, it was so overly cute and such; but I still love it! It's probably my favorite N64 game alongside Ocarina of Time. Yoshi for the win! Who agrees and who doesn't? XD Okay, I'm gone now. Class is coming up next, and I have to try and survive writing two essays in class about the cold war. Wish me luck? *dies* XD Buh-bye! Current Mood: chipper
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It's not the kind of 'blah' that I'm in a bad mood or anything. I'm still a happy little guy. XD My stomach just doesn't want to cooperate with me for some reason. And it started last night when I was playing Smash Bros. again... Which brings up another point. Don't play Smash Bros. Melee on the Nintendo Wii, for some reason it just really gave me a headache. But that was probably because I had to sit on the floor because my Wii was on top of the T.V., but yeah, you know you haven't played in a while when you get knots in your gut from playing it. I'm too used to the Wii Remote now! Agh! XD I gotta get back into the swing of things if I want to become better with Mewtwo or Luigi. Although I did get a couple of good run-in fights with Yoshi. But yeah, next time I want to play Smash Bros., I'll go the old fashion way and set up the cube again. XD I so can't wait for Brawl to come out, it's freaking amazing. As well, I just remembered how awesome Guitar Hero is. Okay! So! Two things on my want-list for Christmas. 1.) Yoshi's Island DS [Nintendo DS] 2.) Guitar Hero [Playstation 2] And... 3.) A hippo. :D; *shot* I've been postponing my Pearl Harbor project that's due this week. NOT a good idea. *laughs* I have to come home and do it the second I get back. That aughta be fun. *rolls eyes* -_- And I think this about wraps up my journal entry. I've gotta go to Drama soon. Catch you all later! Current Mood:  blah
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hikaritoyamii's journal
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